- friend: ever since i started having sex i think i might be into super kinky stuff
- me: oh really like what
- friend: idk my bf handcuffed me last night
- me: whoa that really is kinky
- me internally: weak
There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.
I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele