gaydirectioner:

When I’m listening to Lana Del Rey in my car and one of my friends tells me to change it

image

(via pizzavolk)

22,959 notes

zagreus-taking-time-apart:

*gets gay married during the purge*

(via pizzavolk)

97,083 notes

cyberdisgusting:

dads are either too nice or assholes there is no in between

(via pizzavolk)

430,335 notes

ladragonaria:

Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough

(via pizzavolk)

426,972 notes
  • friend: ever since i started having sex i think i might be into super kinky stuff
  • me: oh really like what
  • friend: idk my bf handcuffed me last night
  • me: whoa that really is kinky
  • me internally: weak
7,274 notes

theconsultingrenegade:

bestquius:

bestquius:

There’s this asshole who every time he sees me with my ukulele he thinks he’s funny and asks “Can you play any Metallica?” but the joke is now on him because I just learned how to play the intro riff to Master of Puppets.

I did it. I fucking did it. He asked me again just like I knew he would and I stared him straight in the eyes without blinking and just fucking shredded on my ukulele

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(Source: meidosuji, via pizzavolk)

275,695 notes

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